Estonian Couple Shares Raw IVF Journey to Break Infertility Silence

An Estonian couple has spoken openly about their fertility struggles to break the silence around infertility. Kristi Petolai, a makeup artist, and her partner Lennart Ruuda, a journalist, shared their two-year journey of trying to conceive, including three rounds of IVF. They hope their story will encourage others to discuss the emotional and physical challenges of fertility treatment.

Petolai and Ruuda first tried to conceive naturally for two years without success. When other methods failed, they turned to IVF, a process Petolai described as physically gruelling. Side effects included severe swelling, headaches, nausea, and abdominal pain, along with strict post-procedure restrictions.

Ruuda admitted feeling helpless while watching his partner endure the treatment. His role was limited to providing sperm, which he found emotionally difficult. Despite the strain, the couple relied on humour to cope, even during the toughest moments.

The experience has brought them closer, thanks to their mutual honesty and openness. Ruuda later wrote about their journey in Levila, offering a rare male perspective on a topic often only discussed by women. Petolai had wanted to hear his side of the story, as infertility conversations typically focus on women's experiences.

Estonian health data shows around 1,500–2,000 IVF cycles take place annually by 2023. Success rates depend on factors like maternal age (best under 35), embryo quality, clinic expertise, and lifestyle choices such as BMI and smoking. Though the couple has not yet conceived, they stress that IVF, despite its challenges, remains a worthwhile option for those hoping to start a family.

The couple has completed three IVF cycles, treating each attempt as an experiment to adjust their approach. While their journey continues, they remain committed to speaking openly about infertility. Their story highlights the importance of support, honesty, and resilience in facing fertility struggles.